Don’t Cry Because It’s Over, Smile Because It Happened

Looking back on my four year journey in the Miss American Organization, this quote couldn’t seem more fitting. It has been an amazing, joyous journey with so many memories and true growth. I couldn’t have imagined, prior to beginning it, how I could have become the woman I am today without my involvement with this organization.

When I started to compete, I never thought I would gain so much. I started only to be able to perform on stage again after completing high school and not being in dance recitals and musicals anymore. Like so many things, the reasons I stuck around were very different then the reason I started. I continued to be involved because of so many different things and do not regret a minute of it.

So I am asking you all to indulge me for a moment. As I never had a farewell speech for giving up a title, this is my chance to thank all those who have helped me all these years.

First and foremost, I have to thank my Mom. While you were never there physically to see me compete, I knew you were always watching. You are my guiding force and everything I do is in honor and tribute to you. To my Daddy, who hates the spotlight more than anyone I know. Thank you for always reminding me that no matter what, I was your princess. No matter the outcome to any pageant, I knew you wouldn’t care either way and always be happy that “Lacey” came home again. Thank you for always letting me be the little one and always supporting me no matter what.

My little foot, aka Roz, how could I ever thank you for everything you do for me. You are always my loudest cheerleader and the person I can rely on. Your strength is beyond inspiring; thank you for everything you do for me. I know that no matter what my next journey in life is, I can count you being in my corner.

To my pageant sisters, god truly couldn’t have blessed me with better people with whom to go through this journey. I have learned so much from each and every one of you, and am honored to count you as my friends. It would take me over the limit of a blog entry to thank you all individually, but I hope you know how truly special and amazing each of you are. However I cannot go without saying a couple of words to Amy and Corri. Thank you seems to not fully say how much I appreciate you both. Thank you for believing in me even at times I questioned myself, your support as been so amazing and important. Also to my adopted sisters Kieran, Stacey, and Chelsea, I am so proud of you this year and look forward to being your cheerleader.

This amazing organization would not be possible without the volunteers that make each pageant work. It is because of them that we all get the chance to dream and compete. Calista, your advice and opinions have meant the world to me. Your dedication and passion for the organization can always be seen. Miss Greater Rochester was my first ever Miss America local, and I couldn’t imagine a better way to end this journey that back with your pageant once again.

Sue, Gary, and Shelby, meeting you at breakfast after Miss Finger Lakes that year was truly amazing and I am so grateful for the day I met you all. I can’t imagine or look forward to a better part of my summer then going up to Clayton for Thousand Islands. While I was never from there, you always made me feel like I was coming home. You truly put your hearts into this organization and I can’t thank you enough for all the love you have shown me. I also have you to thank for bringing Barb Yerdon into my life!!! I couldn’t imagine my life without you all in it.

Chris, Pilar and Jane, I can still remember when I decided very last minute to compete in Finger Lakes! My trip to Corning is yet another yearly highlight that I enjoy so much. You all put your hearts into your pageant, and I am so grateful to be part of the Finger Lakes family. I also must thank Karen Watson: from sewing me into an interview dress, to helping me with my crazy idea to put a slit in my dress, thank you for all your support and love.

To my Mary Kay family: Shelley, Jaclyn and the rest of not only our amazing Pink Sirens but extended Mary Kay family: thank you for all your love and support. I know that I am always in your prayers, but I know you always say some extra ones during pageant season. No matter what the outcome, you always make me feel like a queen and an important part of this amazing company. I truly see the heart and support of Mary Kay in each and every one of you.

To my Diocese of Buffalo family and my Young Christians at Work: Thank you for helping me find my passion for service and giving me the chance to share it with others. My involvement with the program and the youth and young adult ministry has truly shaped my life and made me feel that even without a crown I have made a difference in others’ lives. To my Young Christians, you are my inspiration and inspire my belief that this world will get better because you are all in it.

To Father Gary: I know you watch down on all the lives you touch and I hope you find joy in mine. You saved my life at the age of 16, and I thank God every day because he blessed me with you in my life for two years. It is because of you that my heart is truly open, and without that none of the wonderful things I have experienced would have ever happened. You not only inspired my platform but you are the inspiration every day when I get up to help make a difference in this world.

Blessed is the heart that finds joy in the journey. I have been blessed by my journey in this organization and cannot thank God enough for putting this in my journey of life.

Annual Report

Hello everyone, has many of you may know I am currently serving as an AmeriCorps member at the Genesee County Youth Bureau. The office recently published their annual report; here are some sections from it dealing with AmeriCorps and me as while. To read the full report should be up on the website any day now, click here to check the site.

Program Overview:

AmeriCorps is a program of the Corporation for National and Community Service. The Corporation’s mission is to improve lives, strengthen communities and foster civic engagement through service and volunteering. Other Corporation programs include Senior Corps and Learn & Serve America. Throughout the country, Americans of all backgrounds are engaged in service to meet community needs. Genesee County AmeriCorps members bring this dedication and commitment to our area.

Forty-five members served at a variety of host site agencies in 2010. Assignments fall under the categories of youth development/mentoring, volunteer recruitment and public safety/community outreach. Members agree to complete 900, 675, 450 or 300 service hours over a specific time period that cannot exceed one year. In return, they earn a modest living allowance, and at the end of their term of service are eligible to receive an education award. The education award can be used for college costs or to repay qualified student loans.

Several new rules to implement provisions of the Serve America Act were finalized in 2010. Members can now earn up to the equivalent of two full-time education awards and complete a maximum of four part-time terms. Previously, members were limited to two terms of any type. Another change will adjust the education award annually. The award for a full-time member is now equal to the maximum Federal Pell grant. Part time awards are pro-rated down from that amount. Procedures were also established to allow members who are age 55 or older when they serve to transfer their education award to a child or grandchild. Prior to this only the member could use the award. (Just a side note the House did pass a resolution that would have eliminated funding for the Corporation and all its funded programs however it was not passed by the Senate. If service is important to you please speak out as we start the budget process!!!!)

From Director’s Notes:

We ourselves were one of the first agencies to benefit from the new AmeriCorps rules that allowed for more than two terms in the program. Vicky came back to us in the fall and picked up right where she left off. She has accepted more responsibility and has taken the lead on much of the training initiatives for the AmeriCorps Program. She continues the use of the social networking communication tools initiated by Lauren.

Program Highlights

Several American Recovery Reinvestment Act (ARRA) members continued to serve in 2010. Greg Briggs, who served at the USDA Natural Resources Conservation Services, collaborated with the Genesee County Parks Department to organize a successful Earth Day project to benefit DeWitt Recreation Area in Batavia. On April 24 over 400 trees & bushes of 10 varieties were planted. They will help prevent erosion, improve wildlife habitats, and increase the aesthetic value of the recreation area. Additionally, 10 bird boxes and 5 bat boxes were painted and installed. These will increase the presence of wildlife in the park, and the bats will help reduce the mosquito population. Finally, invasive phragmites were removed and burned. If not controlled, phragmites take over space needed for native plant species. A total of 62 volunteers devoted 284 hours of service to this project. (Including Me, I was in charge of the youth volunteers helping them plant trees and paint bird and bat boxes)

Members participated in a variety of activities during National AmeriCorps Week. On May 12 the Genesee County Legislature issued a proclamation honoring AmeriCorps. Members created display boards highlighting their projects and hosted a reception prior to the meeting. Legislators and other guests had the opportunity to learn about the great things our members were doing. The displays were exhibited at host site agencies throughout the week. On May 14, several members helped serve the meal at the annual RSVP volunteer recognition luncheon. Since RSVP was celebrating its 2 5 t h anniversary, AmeriCorps members and ninety youth at different host sites decorated boxes that were used as favors at the luncheon.

Our members are encouraged to design and execute community service projects at their host sites. Members are given ideas for activities in which the youth can participate and develop a commitment to service. For example, the 120 youth at Camp Wyomoco created greeting cards to send to military personnel serving overseas. At two other sites, Camp Bristol Hills and the LeRoy Christian Community Project, a total of 130 youth made pictures to donate to “Color a Smile”, an organization that delivers artwork to nursing homes and Meals on Wheels programs. It was good to see young people come together to do something to show their appreciation for those serving by brightening someone’s day.

In November a group of members and staff traveled to Albany to attend the New York State AmeriCorps kickoff event. Although it was a long day, it was very inspiring and informative. Members had a chance to get to know each other during the eight hours we spent en transit as well as meet others who are serving at programs across the state. Members also heard from an amazing keynote speaker, La-Verna J. Fountain. Everyone left energized and eager to return home and begin making a difference.

The service of our members has enhanced the ability of organizations to provide caring relationships for young people, helped agencies recruit both youth and adult volunteers and allowed sites to either expand programming or add new services. AmeriCorps not only benefits our community, it provides members with a great opportunity to gain new skills explore career options and finance their education. Use the contact information on the back of this report to inquire further about becoming a host site or a member of the Genesee County AmeriCorps program. You can learn more about AmeriCorps in general or other national service opportunities by visiting www.nationalservice.gov.

Jai Ho

I have no idea what Jai Ho means, however I think it might be joy and happiness. This past weekend, I headed down to Corning, NY for the Miss Finger Lakes Pageant. This is my forth year competing at this pageant. Coming into the pageant I was very nervous; in truth I haven’t been going to the gym as much as I felt I should be. But competing in Finger Lakes this year was very important to me for another reason.

Five years ago when I got the crazy idea to enter my first Miss America local, I had no idea what I was getting into. At that first pageant, I meant a girl named Amy Valenti, who I have had the pleasure of competing with ever since. At Miss Finger Lakes this year, Amy Valenti would have the chance to celebrate the amazing year she had as the reigning Miss Finger Lakes 2010.

The fact that Amy would be giving up her crown was reason enough for me to compete. I also knew that no matter what, I wanted to do my best at this point. I knew a week ago I wasn’t going to be able to drop the extra holiday weight,but there were areas I could work hard on to make better.

The short deadline meant no time to dwell on the things I couldn’t change, only on the things I could change. I made AJ be my interview partner every night and spent time reading inspirational books and stories, and journaling to get centered. My business coach Chris talks about the need to be present in the moment and that is when great things and true clarity happen. Going into Saturday, that is what I focused on: to enjoy the experience. Once I got there I was so happy I chose to participate.

Even AJ, after driving him nuts with crying fits and being down about how I wasn’t prepared two weeks prior, saw my whole face light up when I finally got out of my car in Corning. I was truly present at the moment and knew that no matter what, all my years of competing and my friends who were surrounding me at this pageant would get me through the day.

One of my favorite quotes is a Christopher Robin quote to Pooh by A.A. Milne. It goes like this: Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem and smarter than you think. This quote was definitely true for the day of Miss Finger Lakes. I remembered that I could do this.

So know you are probably wondering…what happened? I was very excited to receive the Community Service Award and be called as Fourth Runner Up. I must give a huge shout-out to Amanda Boyer, Third Runner Up; Margaret Feldman, Second Runner Up; Chelsea Prophet, First Runner Up and drum roll please…..Charlotte Booth, Miss Finger Lakes 2011!!! She will truly do a great job at representing the Finger Lakes region with pride this year.

The pageant was such an amazing experience! Amy and Stacy Minchin, our excellent emcee, did an outstanding job on the opening number. In addition, Stacy did a great job at filling up time when needed and keeping the audience engaged throughout the pageant. Finally I have to thank the whole Miss Finger Lakes family: Chris Keifferr, Pilar Miller and Jane Eikov for welcoming me to your pageant every year. They show that the heart of this organization is truly in the passion and hearts of the volunteers that give so much of themselves to help use reach our goals.

A Little Bit Stronger

Part of the purpose of this blog was to talk about things going on in my life and also offer advice to those going through things I have went through. I have made it a person mission in my life to share my wisdom and what I have learn. I also believe that you can learn something from every situation. The purpose behind everything you go through is to grow and become a better, stronger person.

I am at the age where many of my friends and family members are getting married and entering a new phase of their life. However I also remember a very wise singing coach of my in high school saying that sometimes you kiss a few frogs before you find that right person. She had been engaged to someone before she met and married her wonderful husband.

For those of you who have known me awhile knows I was engaged and it didn’t work out. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through in my adult life. I felt like a complete failure, I felt like a completely unworthy person. The journey back in very long and hard but it will get easier. Here are some tips if you are going through this very hard process. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel and always a lesson you can learn from it.

Number one thing I learned?

 1 Realize that no matter what led to this event, you remain a good and worthy person. For whatever reason, it is an outcome that has forced you to see a different future. And while right now it is hard to see a path ahead, there is one, and likely it is one that includes the right person coming along when the time is right. Do not begin to think that you are never going to find someone "as good as him/her" again. You will, it just doesn't seem like that right now. And resist the temptation to find yourself unworthy in any respect. It is a situation of two people not working out rather than you as an individual not working out.

 2 Remove reminders. Anything that reminds you of your ex-fiancé needs to leave your surroundings. This is important so that you can move on and let go. That means either throwing it away (if you cannot bring yourself to return it) or putting it in a box out of the way. Get someone else to return items of value and sentimental interest to your ex-fiancé if you cannot face seeing him or her right now; this is kinder than junking it. Be the strong one. For me, everything in my apartment reminded me of the broke relationship because we had brought it all together. I had to make new memoires there and also I went through a cleansing of it to make it a new space all mine.

 3 Let out your emotions. Cry if you see fit and perhaps wallow in your sorrows for a few days. It is OK to feel rotten; this is life-dashing stuff you are experiencing. However, set yourself a deadline to pull yourself up and get ready to make a new life for yourself. Every ending has a new beginning, that is the way of life, the world and the universe. Also something else that help me was I gave myself a end date, I said after three months I had to start wearing make up again and get ready in the morning. It sounds silly but it was part of taking care of me but also lifting my mood everyday.

 4 Let others know. After you have a good grip on yourself, inform anybody that was aware of the wedding (if a date had been set) that one will no longer be held. The sooner this is done, the better, so that airfares can be redeemed, accommodations canceled and gifts returned. If you already have gifts, be sure to send them back promptly with a kind "thank you" message.

 5 Spend time with people who care about you. Go and spend time with friends and family to get your mind off your broken engagement. You need to be around people who support, love, and cherish you right now. And you never know, during times like these, you often find one person who has been through just what you're going through right now. Let them reach out to you; they'll have good advice to share, as well as being living proof you'll get through fine.

 6 Take that honeymoon. Even if you hadn't yet booked one, it is a really super idea to grab a friend or even go it alone and take a break somewhere away from your hometown. Go and do something different, something wild, something unique. The difference will do you a lot of good. And while you're away, remember to relax and totally pamper yourself. If you want that gold bracelet and triple decker chocolate ice cream, now is not a time for holding back. For me some of the best things I did was go on a mission trip right after the break up and also going on Mary Kay trips with some great supportive girl friends.

 7 Learn, forgive and grow. An engagement is made of two people. Trying to see fault on either side is a situation that will feed resentment and hold you back. You might want to see him or her as being at fault but it is more likely that both of you saw signs along the way but chose to plow on regardless. Analyze a little but don't over-analyze. Accept that both of you might have done things differently but that perhaps this is a sign that it was not going to be a match made in heaven and it is better to know now than later. Be grateful you have had the experience, wish the other side well, and work on letting your forgiveness override blaming either yourself or the other party.

• Watch out for the rebound. If you are really emotionally fragile, steer clear of intimate relationships for a while until you are stronger and your judgment is no longer clouded.
• Do not be embarrassed that your engagement has ended. It is a time of celebration. Think about the results if you had married this person and later on the incompatibilities caused divorce-worthy rifts?
• Take care of yourself but also consider others. To stop yourself wallowing too much, get involved in volunteering - you'll see there are many people with hardships and yours is but one. Although a significant setback, a broken engagement is not a reason to give up on living life to your best ability.

Check out this video-One of my fave songs

Convention!!!!

This past weekend I was able to attend Convention up at the Adam’s Mark Hotel in Buffalo. When I got there on Saturday, I was running right on time and hadn’t stop to think what I was really going to do. I had lunch with over 700 youth who were in attendance that weekend. I can remember going to Convention when I was in high school and it was truly such a great experience. I was so happy to be back in some small way. After lunch and getting a little lost, I sat down at round table discussion with the Junior Advisors. It was fun to share my own unique perspective on faith and also hear from others. Here is some of my thoughts from the event:

“When I was ask to talk about my faith journey one of the first things that came to mind was the footstep story. The one that a man was walking with Jesus along the sand, the steps represented the man’s life. He asked Jesus why he had left him in the times of only one set of foot prints; Jesus responds that during those times he was carrying the man. This is something I think is very true when looking at my faith journey.

To talk about my faith journey since I started college I would really have to start farther back. If you would have met me when I was sixteen you would have met a completely different girl. By that point in my life I had attempted suicide at least three times, I was withdrawn and angry. But on the surface you wouldn’t have known that because I showed no emotion. If you would have asked me about god, I would have said I was his own personal joke or that he had forgotten all about me. This steamed for the violent murders of both my mother and brother within three years of each other before I was ten years old. But I was very lucky when I was sixteen because I had a friend who invited me to youth group. I was not all about it, however I went and I can say that those were the first steps to saving my life.

I bring up footsteps because looking back, I can see that even when I gave up on god he never gave up on me. Even during those dark years in my life, god came to me in small ways but I wasn’t willing to see it then. I only mention this because I hope you look for how god speaks to you and helps to find your purpose. Truly that is where my fate journey has gone since starting college. Looking deeply and finding what my purpose is in this world”

I then went back on Sunday morning…8:30 AM!!!!! To lead 200 of the youth in a debriefing session about the weekend and hear what they loved most about the weekend. It was great to hear what the weekend had been like for them and also what else they were planning on doing once they went back home. The theme this year was, Whatever it Takes. I loved that idea of this theme!!! Not only about faith but life in general. So often youth are not look at as a resource, it so important to encourage them and to support them. Let them find their path in life, when they do you won’t be able to stop them.

My best advice to give? Always stay present in the moment, cherish everything you are experiences and learn and grow from it all.