You know you're a pageant girl when...

This list was posted on a message board and I thought it was too funny not to share

You know the difference between a crown and a tiara.

When you watch a coronation on television, you can guess the diameter and height of the crown.

You have 10 crowns collecting dust in the attic, and 30 more in a glass showcase in your living room.

You own 2 pairs of taupe leather pumps.

You have won a swimsuit competition thanks to glue.

You think 5-inch acrylic heels go with everything.

You always stand in model stance, aka, the model "T".

Your coach has never caught a football. But they sure do know how to train winners and pick them from the start!

Your body was designed by Mike.

You have every issue of Pageantry magazine, but have never bought a single copy.

Diet Coke is the breakfast of champions.

You watch a televised pageant and have the winner, and all four runner-ups picked from introductions.

You have a platform, but have never stood on it.

You have practiced your "winning reaction" in the mirror.

You paid more for your evening gown than for your car.

You know Bert's last name.

You know the names and home states of the last ten Miss Americas and all Miss Americas' Outstanding Teens

You postponed your wedding due to a pageant.

You do your modeling routine in your sleep.

Your western wear doesn't include jeans.

You consider a week long pageant short.

Your wedding party consisted of fellow contestants.

You have been serenaded on stage by a gay man in a tuxedo.

Your headshot looks like an oil painting.

You have an oil painting... of yourself, in your sash and crown.

You have a runway in your garage.

Your teeth aren't just white, they are porcelain.

You have been winning photo contests since the age of 3.

You have two pairs of breasts... the ones on your body, and the ones in your drawer.

Three suitcases for a vacation is considered "packing light."

You have perfected "elbow, elbow, wrist, wrist, wrist."

You have bought an entire competition wardrobe at a trunk show.

You have been in more parades than Mickey Mouse.

You have an entire scrapbook dedicated to each one of your titles.

You put your hands on top in the winner's circle.

You have seen every pageant movie ever made.

Your Christmas cards are autographed headshots of yourself.

Your hair stylist, dentist, trainer, and coach are on speed dial.

You consider RHINESTONES to be a girl's best friend.

You really do want world peace