Hitting the hard part of transformation

When I started this great idea of personal growth and started to map out what I was going to do and when, I felt excited, energized and in control. However one thing I forgot is that personal growth is messy and doesn’t always go the way we plan.

I forgot that I have things to work through and many times it takes longer than my timeline would allow. One area for me is with my eating. I been really enjoying my new lifestyle of eating healthy and trying to focus on how food reacts to my body. However I also must admit that I also effect what food I put in my body. I am an emotional eater, and it goes way back to my childhood. I guess that I could try to come up with a number of reasons why I eat the way I do however in truth most of them are just excuses and half-truths.

So here I am about a month into this whole transformation and we are at the point where I need to take a look at the work I have done and figure out what to do next. So what have I done?

While first I have some much needed personal time and time to celebrate my amazing friends and their personal successes. I have been getting workouts in and reconnecting with my body. However I have also fallen off my eating and not listen to my food voice like I should be. So the scale is back where it was when I started however I am not giving up.

One thing about me is that I am a survivor in truth all humans are. We are meant to change, grow and deal with challenges.  Sometimes they can get overwhelming and we can end up in Pity City (this is where I go and eat really bad!) but we need to drive out of Pity City and enter the land of our creation.

What do you want to create? I am sick of living life the way people tell me to and want to start living a life of my design. That can be scary, I love rules and following them so making my own seems crazy. But how do you ever get to the next level without challenge what is and how things are done?

So where am I: tired, overworked and trying to find a new way. What I know is that getting past how I am feeling and to a new reality is going to take work, saying no to some stuff and saying yes to new stuff.  What I keep telling myself is that its ok to put myself first and to focus on me a little bit. If I am not whole, then I have nothing to give but junk.