Life is always about creating goals for yourself and working towards them. Throughout my life I have overcome many challenges and works toward goals that seem impossible to achieve.
Wicked is one of my all time favorite musicals. It’s truly of the total package of a show; it has an amazing story, great music and one of the best stage presentations I have ever seen.I love so much of the music and it talks about the need for purpose and finding your way and meaning in life. I think that is such an amazing theme and as a twenty something, it’s the whole purpose of this part of my life. Trying to figure out what I am meant to do and where that will lead me.
Of these the fear of doing what your truly meant to do can be the thing that scares you off and makes it so hard to reach your full potential. So in theme with this idea I thought I would post one of my favorite songs for that show:
Something has changed within me Something is not the same I'm through with playing by the rules Of someone else's game Too late for second-guessing Too late to go back to sleep It's time to trust my instincts Close my eyes: and leap!
It's time to try Defying gravity I think I'll try Defying gravity And you can't pull me down!
I'm through accepting limits ''cause someone says they're so Some things I cannot change But till I try, I'll never know! Too long I've been afraid of Losing love I guess I've lost Well, if that's love It comes at much too high a cost! I'd sooner buy Defying gravity Kiss me goodbye I'm defying gravity And you can't pull me down
After last post I felt I needed to lighten everything up a bit. While there is a ton more I can write about what is going on, there is one new tool I have started to use. Every day I come up with one thing I am grateful for that day. With so much negativity and hard things going on, I find it increasingly important to come up with things that I am grateful for.
One thing I am truly always grateful for is my family. Even with us being spread across the whole country (really from LA to New Jersey and from New York, through Arkansas down to Miami), I don’t think I could have ever made it without my family.
Thinking about this made me realize I haven’t told you all about my amazing trip to New Jersey at the start of the month! I was able to go to New Jersey to spend the weekend with the Ko Family. However this wasn’t just any normal weekend, it was also Olivia’s dance recital. I got in Friday night and was greeted by Dylan and Olivia waiting to attach themselves to my legs. The weekend was so much fun, I got to see Olivia play soccer and spend time with Dylan. I also got to see Princeton Campus, after being in the area 2 times before and never really seeing anything but conference rooms. I also got to do Olivia and her friend Sophia’s hair and makeup for the recital.
Check out some of the picture from the weekend :)
Finally I just wanted to share a couple insights from a weekly email I received today. This week Nancy was finishing up a article about things she has learned from Oprah, while I loved them all I had to share two of them with you. Here is a little information about Nancy: Nancy Roberts, behavioral analyst and co-creator of the "Boost Your Business by Overcoming Sales Call Reluctance" workshop, publishes the award-winning 'Success iNsights' weekly ezine with thousands of subscribers. If you're ready to jump-start your business and make more money, sign up for your FREE subscription athttp://www.insightspps.com.
7) Along with fear, challenges/obstacles always come up as you move to the next level.
I think sometimes we have the illusion that rich, successful people don't have as many problems as we normal folk do. But when Oprah had to deal with the Meat Industry's lawsuit or sexual abuse allegations at her Girls School in South Africa, I'd say she was dealing with some pretty big problems. The difference is in the level person you are. If you're a level 3 person and you have a level 5 problem - you've got a BIG problem. But if you're a level 9 person and you have a level 5 problem - you've got a small problem. So the work isn't in playing small so to try and minimize or avoid problems, the work is in developing yourself. 8) It isn't about the money; it's about making a difference. When Oprah's show was going down the same road as Jerry Springer and Maury Povich, Oprah made a decision to no longer do sensational, negative story lines. She wanted to provide information and inspiration, and to have a positive influence on others. And what do you know, she also became one of the Richest Woman in the World. You will never hear Oprah say money isn't important but you will hear her say it's not the most important. Finding your true purpose and pursuing it with passion is the key. And what do you know, the money might just come.
I had many reasons why I started this blog, one of them being to talk about issues and trials I am going through and see if any of the knowledge I have gained can help you. Everyone says how important your twenties are to your development and personal growth; however I thought I had already learned a large majority of those lessons already, leaving the rest of my twenties to an easy glide to true adulthood. However I was completely fooling myself to think this. In reality what I have learned over a little over the past month is that I am no where's near full adulthood or learning all the lessons I need to or have to learn.
I have spoken time to time about my mother's death and the effect it had on me growing up however up until recently if you would have ask me how I was dealing with it, I would have said that after 14 years I had finish morning her lose and have a deep love and remember joyful and often.If you would asked me how I felt about her death not being solve. I would have said that I knew she was at peace and that was enough for me. And while that still true, I never thought about how I would feel to know more, until recently. Lately I have had to deal with the possibility of really knowing everything and as much as I thought I had dealt with it all fully, I have found that I have more of a bandage coving everything up.
When I was young I was really interested in the Salem Witch Trials, there was one man who’s story is told so much and I have always remember. This man refused to admit he was a witch, to try to get him to confess, they stacked boulders on top of him, adding more and more weight. This was in the hopes that the pain would bring a confession and with it giving up his land. The man never changes is plea and ultimately died due to the amount of weight that was put on him.
As odd of a story this may seem, it really speaks to a lesson I have avoided learning for a long time, when things are bad adding more stuff to it will not make it better. I could spend a lot of time talking about all the different things going on right now but let’s just say that there is a lot of weight on me currently.
Having to admit this has been hard because I have always been someone to add to my plate and to take on weight from other people. I have always been the fixer, support and problem solver. I have taken great proud in being the do everything person, and if anything I am struggling with the reality that I can’t always be that person nor can I truly always do it all.
Normally my way of dealing with things is to add more because in my mind when you’re busy you don’t have to think about everything else. The problem with this is when you are already juggling so much either adding something new or having something come completely out of left field that does not fit into the rhythm of everything else causes everything to fall apart, and by everything in this case I mean me.
This is something that sadly has happen to me more than once; yes I am very sad to say that I am currently relieving a lesson I was supposes to learn a number of times before. The problem is as when before it was easier to manage the mistakes and problems that completely falling apart cause. There are things now that can’t fall apart and when they do affect so many people. I guess I should have learned this lesson earlier because now I am trying to manage things that are so much greater than anything before.
I hope only to be able to learn the lesson right now and not have to go through this again. Now it’s only figuring out what is the next current step. There are times like everyone I wish I could just run away; I am completely a flight person. I would rather flee then fight anytime. However that has you get older becomes less and less of an option. Now it’s time to figure it all out, but I guess that what your twenties are always about.
For those of you who don't know, I have a theory that all life's problems and up and downs can be solved through Dawson's Creek. However my seasons are currently in storage, as I enter this next phase of my life I thought I share some of my favorite quotes and things that currently apply to my life.
You're born, you die and you make a lot of mistakes in between.
I'd like to tell today's youth that no matter where life takes you, big cities, small towns, you'll inevitably come across small minded People who think they're better than you. People who think that material things, or being pretty or popular, automatically make you a worthwhile human being. I'd like to tell today's youth that none of these things matter. Unless you have a stregth of character, intergtity, ... and if you're lucky enough to have any of these things, don't ever sell out. Don't ever sell out. So when you meet a person for the first time, don't judge them by their station in life, 'cause who knows, that person just might end up being your best friend.
Don't let yourself get so angry that you stop loving, because one day you will wake up from that anger and the person you love won't be around anymore.
There are certain people who are not meant to fit in your life, no matter how much you want them to be.
It's not that I want to be the one holding your hand, it's just that I don't want her to be the one holding it
You know i used to spend every day thinking about you and dreaming about you, and everytime you walked by i lost myself, do you know what that feels like? And you couldnt possibly know what it feels like to have that person not have the same feelings back. Look, im sorry if you miss the way i looked at you, but i dont miss the way you never looked at me.
I wanted to write about falling in love and why it can't last but that the same time how it lasts forever..
When a girl hates you the way she hates you, that really means she likes you. That's basic kindergarten psychology.
maybe it's the only way that we can finally stand on our own. Ya know, to hurt each other so much that we have no choice but to let go... maybe otherwise we never would.
You're probably right...I'm sure I don't have any idea what you're going through. How hard it is to let someone go. How painful it must be to know that as right as you two are for each other, it doesn't mean you're right for each other right now. I wouldn't know a thing about that. About how it makes you want to scream, or hit someone...or cry.
I guess everyone has someone who challenges them, and makes them shoot for something just beyond their reach. You're that person for me
Listen to me: If we are truly meant to be, then we will find our way back to each other. It's as simple as that.
You know, it's weird how you still love the person, you just stop needing them the way you used to
To love someone when there is no chance of that love ever thriving.. that is romance.
Letting go isn't a one time thing, its something you do everyday, over and over again
It seems a little sad that I was the girl whose only purpose was to help you find out who you're really in love with.
You wanted a kiss. Is that what you want? Are you prepared for everything that comes with that kiss? cause it doesnt just end with a fade out. There are repercussions. Hearts get broken. Friendships get ruined. Your entire life could fall apart because of one kiss. That's what you have to look foward to. Do yourself a big favor.. don't rush it.
Because you're beautiful, and you don't know it. Because you're smart, and you don't believe it. You're the kind of girl that guys never get over. Joey, you're the kind of girl that other girls get compared to
There are not many people in this world with the ablility to give you butterflies, and if you dont tell those people how you feel, It'll be like spending the rest of your life in your own personal prison.
Falling in love. Sharing your life with someone. Giving your heart to another person to the extent that losing them could potentially destroy you. It's such a crazy thing to do
You've taught me that love sucks, that feelings can change, passion will fade, partners will come and go, but through it all, one thing remains sacred: friendship
You know, it really hurts sometimes because i know he's out there falling in and out of love with these girls that aren't me.
I'm scared that I'm going to end up alone. I'm scared that I'm always going to be somebody's friend, or sister, or confident, never quite somebody's everything. Mostly I'm scared I'm never going to find a guy that I love as much as I love you.
She's so beautiful that every time you look at her, your knees tremble, your heart melts and you know right then and there, without any reservation that there's order and meaning to the universe
alot of people walk in and out of my life, but your one of the only people i ever really wanted to stick around
because life, much like a french movie, rarely makes any sense, but when its right, its right, and you dont question it, you dont think, you dont ponder, you just exist
It's like you get this picture in your head of the way things should be, and you end up closing yourself off to some of the wonder and serendipity of the actual experience
That guy didn't know you...because if he did..he would have never walked away from you
It's like your heart has been ripped out and stomped on. You.. you can't breathe, you don't want to eat, you can't function. It's the most intense pain that you'll ever feel, and there's no way to relieve it. It's unyielding, merciless torture, and you know its yours for life
But that's just it, the butterflies never seem to accompany the right people. All the nice guys who are right for you, they never make your stomach go flip flop...
Sometimes the hardest things to say are the things that really matter
I think sometimes you have to lose someone completely before you can figure out what they really mean to you
so yeah maybe we didnt talk this summer, and who knows maybe we'll find ourselves talking less and less as time goes on and life gets more and more in the way, but, i dont feel it, cause your with me everywhere i go
I used to be afraid of so many things, that I'd never grow up, that I'd be trapped in the same place for all eternity, that my dreams would forever be shy of my reach, it's true what they say, time plays tricks on you. one day your dreaming the next your dream has become you reality and now that the scared little girl no longer follows me wherever I go, i miss her. i do. because there are things that i want to tell her, to relax, to lighten up, that it is all going to be okay. i want her to know that meeting people who like you, who understand you, who actually except you for who you are will become an increasingly rare occurrence Jen, Jack, Audrey, Andie, Pacey and Dawson, these people who contributed to who i am they are with me where ever i go. and as history gets rewritten in smalls way with each passing day my love for them only grows, because the truth is it was the best of times. mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learned, but all that has receded into fond memory now. how does it happen? why are we so quick to forget the bad and romanticizes the good? maybe it's because we need to believe that the time we spent together actually meant something. that we were there for each other in a time in our lives that defined us all. That time our lives that we will never forget. I can't swear that's exactly how it happened. but this is how it felt -joey
Dreams aren't perfect. They come true, not free.
What we have goes beyond friendship, beyond lovers -- its forever.
