Jai Ho

I have no idea what Jai Ho means, however I think it might be joy and happiness. This past weekend, I headed down to Corning, NY for the Miss Finger Lakes Pageant. This is my forth year competing at this pageant. Coming into the pageant I was very nervous; in truth I haven’t been going to the gym as much as I felt I should be. But competing in Finger Lakes this year was very important to me for another reason.

Five years ago when I got the crazy idea to enter my first Miss America local, I had no idea what I was getting into. At that first pageant, I meant a girl named Amy Valenti, who I have had the pleasure of competing with ever since. At Miss Finger Lakes this year, Amy Valenti would have the chance to celebrate the amazing year she had as the reigning Miss Finger Lakes 2010.

The fact that Amy would be giving up her crown was reason enough for me to compete. I also knew that no matter what, I wanted to do my best at this point. I knew a week ago I wasn’t going to be able to drop the extra holiday weight,but there were areas I could work hard on to make better.

The short deadline meant no time to dwell on the things I couldn’t change, only on the things I could change. I made AJ be my interview partner every night and spent time reading inspirational books and stories, and journaling to get centered. My business coach Chris talks about the need to be present in the moment and that is when great things and true clarity happen. Going into Saturday, that is what I focused on: to enjoy the experience. Once I got there I was so happy I chose to participate.

Even AJ, after driving him nuts with crying fits and being down about how I wasn’t prepared two weeks prior, saw my whole face light up when I finally got out of my car in Corning. I was truly present at the moment and knew that no matter what, all my years of competing and my friends who were surrounding me at this pageant would get me through the day.

One of my favorite quotes is a Christopher Robin quote to Pooh by A.A. Milne. It goes like this: Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem and smarter than you think. This quote was definitely true for the day of Miss Finger Lakes. I remembered that I could do this.

So know you are probably wondering…what happened? I was very excited to receive the Community Service Award and be called as Fourth Runner Up. I must give a huge shout-out to Amanda Boyer, Third Runner Up; Margaret Feldman, Second Runner Up; Chelsea Prophet, First Runner Up and drum roll please…..Charlotte Booth, Miss Finger Lakes 2011!!! She will truly do a great job at representing the Finger Lakes region with pride this year.

The pageant was such an amazing experience! Amy and Stacy Minchin, our excellent emcee, did an outstanding job on the opening number. In addition, Stacy did a great job at filling up time when needed and keeping the audience engaged throughout the pageant. Finally I have to thank the whole Miss Finger Lakes family: Chris Keifferr, Pilar Miller and Jane Eikov for welcoming me to your pageant every year. They show that the heart of this organization is truly in the passion and hearts of the volunteers that give so much of themselves to help use reach our goals.

A Little Bit Stronger

Part of the purpose of this blog was to talk about things going on in my life and also offer advice to those going through things I have went through. I have made it a person mission in my life to share my wisdom and what I have learn. I also believe that you can learn something from every situation. The purpose behind everything you go through is to grow and become a better, stronger person.

I am at the age where many of my friends and family members are getting married and entering a new phase of their life. However I also remember a very wise singing coach of my in high school saying that sometimes you kiss a few frogs before you find that right person. She had been engaged to someone before she met and married her wonderful husband.

For those of you who have known me awhile knows I was engaged and it didn’t work out. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through in my adult life. I felt like a complete failure, I felt like a completely unworthy person. The journey back in very long and hard but it will get easier. Here are some tips if you are going through this very hard process. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel and always a lesson you can learn from it.

Number one thing I learned?

 1 Realize that no matter what led to this event, you remain a good and worthy person. For whatever reason, it is an outcome that has forced you to see a different future. And while right now it is hard to see a path ahead, there is one, and likely it is one that includes the right person coming along when the time is right. Do not begin to think that you are never going to find someone "as good as him/her" again. You will, it just doesn't seem like that right now. And resist the temptation to find yourself unworthy in any respect. It is a situation of two people not working out rather than you as an individual not working out.

 2 Remove reminders. Anything that reminds you of your ex-fiancé needs to leave your surroundings. This is important so that you can move on and let go. That means either throwing it away (if you cannot bring yourself to return it) or putting it in a box out of the way. Get someone else to return items of value and sentimental interest to your ex-fiancé if you cannot face seeing him or her right now; this is kinder than junking it. Be the strong one. For me, everything in my apartment reminded me of the broke relationship because we had brought it all together. I had to make new memoires there and also I went through a cleansing of it to make it a new space all mine.

 3 Let out your emotions. Cry if you see fit and perhaps wallow in your sorrows for a few days. It is OK to feel rotten; this is life-dashing stuff you are experiencing. However, set yourself a deadline to pull yourself up and get ready to make a new life for yourself. Every ending has a new beginning, that is the way of life, the world and the universe. Also something else that help me was I gave myself a end date, I said after three months I had to start wearing make up again and get ready in the morning. It sounds silly but it was part of taking care of me but also lifting my mood everyday.

 4 Let others know. After you have a good grip on yourself, inform anybody that was aware of the wedding (if a date had been set) that one will no longer be held. The sooner this is done, the better, so that airfares can be redeemed, accommodations canceled and gifts returned. If you already have gifts, be sure to send them back promptly with a kind "thank you" message.

 5 Spend time with people who care about you. Go and spend time with friends and family to get your mind off your broken engagement. You need to be around people who support, love, and cherish you right now. And you never know, during times like these, you often find one person who has been through just what you're going through right now. Let them reach out to you; they'll have good advice to share, as well as being living proof you'll get through fine.

 6 Take that honeymoon. Even if you hadn't yet booked one, it is a really super idea to grab a friend or even go it alone and take a break somewhere away from your hometown. Go and do something different, something wild, something unique. The difference will do you a lot of good. And while you're away, remember to relax and totally pamper yourself. If you want that gold bracelet and triple decker chocolate ice cream, now is not a time for holding back. For me some of the best things I did was go on a mission trip right after the break up and also going on Mary Kay trips with some great supportive girl friends.

 7 Learn, forgive and grow. An engagement is made of two people. Trying to see fault on either side is a situation that will feed resentment and hold you back. You might want to see him or her as being at fault but it is more likely that both of you saw signs along the way but chose to plow on regardless. Analyze a little but don't over-analyze. Accept that both of you might have done things differently but that perhaps this is a sign that it was not going to be a match made in heaven and it is better to know now than later. Be grateful you have had the experience, wish the other side well, and work on letting your forgiveness override blaming either yourself or the other party.

• Watch out for the rebound. If you are really emotionally fragile, steer clear of intimate relationships for a while until you are stronger and your judgment is no longer clouded.
• Do not be embarrassed that your engagement has ended. It is a time of celebration. Think about the results if you had married this person and later on the incompatibilities caused divorce-worthy rifts?
• Take care of yourself but also consider others. To stop yourself wallowing too much, get involved in volunteering - you'll see there are many people with hardships and yours is but one. Although a significant setback, a broken engagement is not a reason to give up on living life to your best ability.

Check out this video-One of my fave songs

Convention!!!!

This past weekend I was able to attend Convention up at the Adam’s Mark Hotel in Buffalo. When I got there on Saturday, I was running right on time and hadn’t stop to think what I was really going to do. I had lunch with over 700 youth who were in attendance that weekend. I can remember going to Convention when I was in high school and it was truly such a great experience. I was so happy to be back in some small way. After lunch and getting a little lost, I sat down at round table discussion with the Junior Advisors. It was fun to share my own unique perspective on faith and also hear from others. Here is some of my thoughts from the event:

“When I was ask to talk about my faith journey one of the first things that came to mind was the footstep story. The one that a man was walking with Jesus along the sand, the steps represented the man’s life. He asked Jesus why he had left him in the times of only one set of foot prints; Jesus responds that during those times he was carrying the man. This is something I think is very true when looking at my faith journey.

To talk about my faith journey since I started college I would really have to start farther back. If you would have met me when I was sixteen you would have met a completely different girl. By that point in my life I had attempted suicide at least three times, I was withdrawn and angry. But on the surface you wouldn’t have known that because I showed no emotion. If you would have asked me about god, I would have said I was his own personal joke or that he had forgotten all about me. This steamed for the violent murders of both my mother and brother within three years of each other before I was ten years old. But I was very lucky when I was sixteen because I had a friend who invited me to youth group. I was not all about it, however I went and I can say that those were the first steps to saving my life.

I bring up footsteps because looking back, I can see that even when I gave up on god he never gave up on me. Even during those dark years in my life, god came to me in small ways but I wasn’t willing to see it then. I only mention this because I hope you look for how god speaks to you and helps to find your purpose. Truly that is where my fate journey has gone since starting college. Looking deeply and finding what my purpose is in this world”

I then went back on Sunday morning…8:30 AM!!!!! To lead 200 of the youth in a debriefing session about the weekend and hear what they loved most about the weekend. It was great to hear what the weekend had been like for them and also what else they were planning on doing once they went back home. The theme this year was, Whatever it Takes. I loved that idea of this theme!!! Not only about faith but life in general. So often youth are not look at as a resource, it so important to encourage them and to support them. Let them find their path in life, when they do you won’t be able to stop them.

My best advice to give? Always stay present in the moment, cherish everything you are experiences and learn and grow from it all.

Busy Vicky

Trip to Albany

Hey everyone last week I was able to spend time in Albany in support of the youth bureau system. This is an annual trip that youth bureau across the state bring youth from their area on. It’s a two day event where kids get to take part in workshops and also meet with the elected representatives. However this year the trip was more important than ever. Days before the event took place the Governor’s budget was released and it was not good for youth bureaus at all. In the budget he eliminates youth bureaus and makes funding for youth programming a competitive grant.

A youth bureau is an agency created by Counties and Cities, or a Town or Village with a total population of 20,000 or more, for the purpose of planning, coordinating and supplementing the activities of public, private, and religious agencies devoted to the welfare and protection of youth. The youth bureau system embodies the definition of youth development as an ongoing process in which children and adolescents seek ways to meet their personal and social needs, building skills and competencies that allow them to be successful and function effectively in their daily lives. Youth development recognizes the potential which young people possess and builds upon their strengths.

Youth bureaus help promote the physical, emotional and social well being of youth and families in New York State. Each youth bureau currently receives funding from the state based on a population formula. They can then use the funding to help fund programs that help meet the needs of their local youth population. This allows youth from across the state opportunities to take part in programs including summer recreation.

In other news…..

Beyond this I have been keeping very busy with school lately, I have my first paper due next Monday and at the end of this month I will be taking my midterms! I also leave next weekend for the Miss Finger Lakes Pageant and I am looking forward to it so much. I also made a very snowy trip to with Amy V to see Miss Fulton County and I am so excited to congratulate my pageant sister, Kieren Sheridan on becoming Miss Fulton County!!!! Also first runner up Danielle Trumbull, my other very good friend second runner up Amanda Boyer who was also overall talent and interview awards winner!!!!

This upcoming weekend I will be speaking on a panel at the 59^th annual Diocesan of Buffalo Youth Conference. Check out a Youtube video of the event. It is something I took part in as a youth and I am so happy I have been ask back to speak about my faith journey. I am still trying to figure out my words of what I will say. Hopefully it will be finished soon and I will share it with you all.

Miss Finger Lakes is on the way

This past weekend I took some time out to go to the Miss Finger Lakes workshop. I am so happy that I got to spend time with everyone. I got to have a mock interview, even if I was a little nervous. We also learned the walking patterns and the opening number J all and all a great day. I was also able to share some of the amazing tips I learned from Robert Jones, I love sharing the knowledge I have gained.

Starting school has been really stressful but I know I will get through it. I am not use to the level of work and it’s hard to find balance. This weekend I am off to see Miss Fulton County, I am so excited and can’t wait to see more of my pageant friends again. I will also be attending my first meeting for Fabulous Females , it’s an annual fundraising event the YWCA that honors amazing women in our community. I am very excited about being apart in the planning of this event. I am also glad to again be serving on the Voice of Experience event which will take place in March. Other upcoming events include speaking at the Diocese of Buffalo’s annual youth conference which I still need to find the words for and a trip to Albany next week for the Association of New York State Youth Bureaus leadership forum.

I love everything I get to do but a lot of times is seems like while a lot!!!! It’s times like this I have to remember to enjoy the journey and how lucky I truly am.